2031: I Survived the Great Neobank Migration of 2026 — A Memoir
2031: I Survived the Great Neobank Migration of 2026 — A Memoir Weekly Fintech Satire | March 15, 2026 Future Headlines 2031: RBI Discovers That “Free” UPI Was Actually an installment Plan for Your Soul 2030: BNPL Anonymous Becomes India’s Largest Self-Help Group; Meetings Held in Abandoned Neobank Branches 2029: Algorithm Determines 84% of Population “Not Creditworthy Enough for Groceries”; launches “Pay-in-16” for Bread 2028: Federal Bank Announces “Business Re-alignment” Re-aligning 4 Million Customers Into a Spreadsheet Column 2027: Last Human Financial Advisor Retires; Says “The Bots Don’t Even Pretend to Care Anymore” ...