CFPB

Upload Your Soul to the Algorithm: A Citizen’s Guide to Being Protected by Your Predators Filed: June 13, 2026 — From the Bureau of Historical Financial Irony Archivist’s Note: This dispatch was recovered from the personal data cloud of Citizen 7,291,003, who consented to its extraction under the Financial Transparency Act of 2031. HEADLINES FROM THE WEEK THAT WAS “TRUMP TAPS CAPITAL ONE EXECUTIVE TO LEAD CONSUMER PROTECTION BUREAU” — The irony was not lost on the algorithm. It had been trained on irony. “VIRAL AI PROMPT ENCOURAGES CONSUMERS TO UPLOAD BANK STATEMENTS FOR ‘PERSONALIZED ADVICE’” — What could go wrong? asks the woman who just handed her financial autopsy to a chatbot. “BUY NOW, PAY LATER NOW USED FOR GROCERIES BY 36% OF USERS” — The future is here. It’s installments. You can’t afford it in four payments either. “U.S. REGULATORS RAMP UP SCRUTINY OF AI IN LENDING” — They’re ‘scrutinizing.’ That’s regulator-speak for ‘we’ll get back to you after the next election.’" ...